So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
