The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
