I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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