You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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