I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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