either way he was missing a nipple.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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