I'm going to jail i love you
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
