yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
