i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
i out mim tonsoeep
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