I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
