If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
did i just pee glitter
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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