Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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