it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
