A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
