I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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