i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
