Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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