Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
