Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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