It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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