we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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