I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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