I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
