I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
