i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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