He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
