Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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