Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
