it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
