The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
