Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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