Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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