i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
