..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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