woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
