I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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