I accidentally had phone sex last night
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
