In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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