my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
