He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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