babies were throwing up all over the place
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I have already put on my inside pants.
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