who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
