ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I forgot wine drunk hurts
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
