Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
