Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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