youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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