Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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