my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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