i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
