Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
