Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
