It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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